Another Anniversary

On January 1st, 2021. While everyone is putting 2020 in the rear view!!! And welcoming a new year. I, will also, rather greatfully!!!! be putting 2020 in the rear view. But also RELUCTANTLY counting another year spent without my Mom. My kids, now young adults, having to grow up not knowing her at all. She would have loved being a grandma. And now she would be a great-grandma (2x’s over just from my family). She would be over the moon!!!!! That’s the whole reason for having kids. So you can spoil their kids!!!! And then send them home when they need parenting.

Social Security!!!!

This is just a brief warning about the following post. Many, might find it confusing, or not easy to follow. Please read slowly and view all documents. If you have any questions. Please do not hesitate to ask.

Jennifer Stern’s accident happened in February 1984. Mine happened in November 2010. No government agency would have made this mistake. This was no mistake.

I thought I already new a lot about Social Security Disability. But when I had my accident in 2010, I learned even more. Things got really confusing though after my husband, Mark. Was appointed to be my representative payee by the Social Security Administration. And then he was appointed to be Jennifer Stern’s representative payee by the Social Security Administration.

I immediately called the Social Security Administration. I was told that no mistake had been made. A person can change their representative payee at any time by writing to the Social Security Administration directly. I explained to them that this was impossible to have taken place. We returned the check they had sent. Only to have it sent back to us. At which time, my husband and I, personally went to the Social Security Administration office. We explained everything and returned the check. Only to have it appear back in our mailbox.

This went on for 9-10 months. In those months I learned this:

A beneficiary of disability benefits  can write to the Social Security Administration to have their representative payee changed.

I also learned what each letter and number that appeared after each claim number on the Social Security Administration letters that came, mean. This was very important. When I filed I was given a claimant # ending in HA-meaning disabled claimant. Each one of my children were given my claim number, followed by the letter “C” (child) 1-4.

I was very surprised when I saw the claimant number associated with Jennifer Stern. It was associated with Gail N. Stern, our deceased mother, followed by letter “C” (child)1.

I explained to the Social Security Administration that Jennifer Stern and I had different last names. I showed them my Social Security Card that they had issued me in 2006. My marriage certificate and license. And my MVA ID card. I also explained that Jennifer Stern had never lived in Frederick, Maryland.

Finally, I explained that Jennifer Stern’s Social Security Disability claim was filed under a C1 status. Jennifer, would not know the correct claim number.  Nore, would she have chosen my husband, Mark, to be her representative payee. I followed this up with documents that had been filed with Howard County Courts, and Emerge in Columbia, Maryland. An agency that provides adults with disabilities, support services to live independently.

We finally got a letter, from Social Security Administration, stating that it would be in Jennifer Stern’s best interests for someone else to be her representative payee. That was it.

Still needing to know how this all happened all these years later. And unable to get any answers. I am really hoping that someone here can help explain this.

If its legal, I’ll go away. Never to be heard from again. As long as Jennifer is safe. Thats all that matters to me. If any of this is not legal. Please help me. The only one who is getting hurt here is Jennifer Stern. And she can’t speak up for herself. But supports and money’s that are supposed to be there for Jennifer’s lifetime might not be if something isn’t done now.

Emerge Inc. has a Individual Service Plan meeting for/about Jennifer every 6-10 months. Everyone who provides care for Jennifer is invited to the meeting. Notes are taken and mailed to everyone who attended/invited to meeting. Individual’s emergency people to call, and important people in individual’s lives at any given point are discussed at meeting. Any area of an individual’s life they do not feel they are getting the needed support. Will be evaluated by the team.

Melvin S. Stern is the Primary Care Physician listed on Jennifer Stern’s support agency forms. Even though the state of Maryland has only ever given Dr. Melvin S. Stern the license to practice pediatric medicine. Jennifer Kay Stern is not only Dr. Melvin S. Stern’s biological daughter. But she is, to date, 45 years of age.

Support Agency Form

In the 9-10 months it took to get things straight again. There were financial resources my family could not tap into. Because the state and federal government added Jennifer’s Social Security  checks into our income.

Because my husband was Jennifer’s payee. For 9-10 months, all of her disability checks were being sent to our address. We would send them back. But not once did we hear from Mel. And, everytime we sent a check back, made a phone call, made any contact with the Social Security Administration, they sent a letter to the beneficiary, Jennifer Stern. Which meant Mel knew what was going on.

For 9-10 months my family not only suffered by not being able to reach all the financial help that should have been available to us. But, Jennifer Stern suffered as well. She was not receiving her Social Security Disability checks. And her guardian and father wasn’t notifying the Social Security Administration, with concern, as to why.

I know this is starting to get somewhat confusing. I just need someone to please. Look at the documents. There has to be a connection between a guardianship ruling. Which ultimately gave Melvin S. Stern no oversight watch when it came to the care of Jennifer K. Stern. And the incidences that followed.

Melvin S. Stern is Jennifer Kay Stern’s sole living parent to date. 

On June 19, 2001  Honorable Judge Dennis M. Sweeney, granted Melvin S. Stern sole guardian of Person and Property of Jennifer Kay Stern.

Melvin S. Stern is the representative payee appointed by the Social Security Administration for Jennifer Kay Stern.

Melvin S. Stern is the emergency contact person listed on Jennifer Kay Stern’s support agency forms.

Support Agency Form

My question is, is it actually legal for one person to dominate, and control another human beings life like this. Dr. Melvin S. Stern has been able to get the U.S. federal government to appoint him representative payee of Jennifer Stern. Get the County Court to appoint him guardianship of Jennifer Stern’s person and property. Which means Dr. Melvin S. Stern oversees any all monies and trusts that might be set-up in Jennifer Stern’s name.

But, the separate task of “daily support staff”. Is where Dr. Melvin S. Stern has been able to control everything.  As Jennifer Stern’s legal guardian he has the right to having an oversight role.

The part I have always questioned. Is does he have the right to play such a big part in Jennifer Stern’s Medical Life. I have always felt he needed to step back, be a parent/guardian and let someone else take on Jennifer Stern’s Medical Life. And he would be oversight, just like he should for everything else.


That is all I ever wanted from Mel Stern!!!! And that is what I and many others gave him plenty of. After my mom’s death and little sister’s accident in 1984. The Highland, Clarksville, Maryland communities rallied around our family. But especially around Mel. They supported Mel in any and every way possible. Which, in the beginning, would be expected. But, instead of trying to support me too. I often felt like Mel expected me to support him. Like the community was. Mel even once said to me, “You lost your mother. But I lost my wife.” And Mel never said anything about the fact that I had, basically, lost my best friend a month later. When my little sister was in her life threatening accident. Things didn’t look good. I couldn’t lose my little sister, month’s after losing my mom. I begged, pleaded, and promised Mel. I would help take care of my sister. I couldn’t have imagined in my early adolescents just how much Mel would expect out of me.

But, as a child/young adolescent I was committed to Mel’s grief. In the early years the outside community gave the little support  I needed to continue on with Mel’s support.

I was trying very hard to be very supportive of Mel. Still wanting some, any return support from Mel. Mel never gave me any.

In my early twenties. I got the nerve up to tell Mel where some of my teenage “support” had come from. That through ages 14-19 someone that Mel hired had also been molesting me. I gave Mel multiple details of ways I tried to avoid the situation all together over the years. To ways it always seemed to fail in the end. Mel told me I was lieing.

Since Mel Stern is not just my father. But also a medical doctor. He is mandated by federal law to report any and all abuse on a minor. He did not report this though. And by the time I again repeated the same details to a therapist. And it was reported and investigated. Because it wasn’t “rape”. The statute of limitations had runout. If Mel had reported it, time wouldn’t have runout.

So I have supported Mel’s grief while putting my grief on the back burner. I literally never got the chance to grieve my own Mom’s death.

Mel never knew that what really got me through all my adolescent years. Was this twisted thinking that Mel really had my Mom hid somewhere getting better. And that one day she was going to just walk through the door. And everything would go back to normal.

That is how I dealt with getting molested. I never said anything to Mel because between loosing my Mom and taking care of Jeni. I felt Mel had enough to do. I would take care of this. Never in a million years did I ever think Mel would call me lier.

It wasn’t until I was 19 years old, in college. That I realized/acknowledged my Mom’s death. I remember that day as if it where yesterday. I called my grandma in tears. “She’s really gone. Isn’t she?” “Oh Cheralla” (I think that’s how its spelled. I don’t know. My grandma always called me Cheri in Yiddish) A few days later there was a goodie box in my mail.

I was taking on more responsibilities of the day to day care of Jeni.  Starting a family of my own. And becoming more aware of Mel’s actions.

Mail addressed to ; Melvin S. Stern C/F Cheri Ann Stern UGMA or Sondra Jo Stern UGMA?

This would take me years to understand. All the while I kept an eye on it. I would call the bank on the statement, occasionally for information and get stonewalled. That was until 2006.

UGMA/UTMA: Uniform Gifts to Minors Act/Uniform Transfer to Minors Act; A UGMA is simply an act that allows a donor/parent to give up all possession/control of assets, such as securities, stocks and bonds. And allow them to be held in a custodian’s name. For the benefit of a minor without needing an attorney or needing to setup a special trust. Allows minors to have property set aside for their benefit. And may achieve some income tax benefits for the parent. Once the child becomes recognized legal age in the state. All assets become the property of the child without restrictions.

In October 2006 I contacted Ryan Beck regarding these custodial accounts. In need of more information. After verification, Ryan Beck, confirmed that the custodial account under the name of Cheri Ann Stern was opened in 1999. The second custodial account under the name Sondra Jo Stern, was opened in 2000. Both accounts where under the same custodial guardian, Mel Stern and the same S.S. #.

I tried to notify lawyers and the state comptroller a number of times over this. No one would listen.

Whenever I had worked some place. Mel had just told me to claim “0” dependants. And that when I received my “W2” just let Mel’s tax accountant handle everything. In 1996 I ended up with a my tax return. Was I surprised at what I saw.

The taxpayer signature, under the paragraph that says: under penalties of perjury…. not my signature. MEL signed my name and dated it.

Mel signed the federal and state forms. Put dates on them, my S.S.# and Mel’s address. I know that for certain, at the time I was living in Glenwood, Maryland. With my husband, 2 kids, and I was pregnant.

Once again I spoke to attorneys, the IRS and the state comptroller. Even filing form 3949 A with the IRS Department of Treasury. Like I was instructed. I never heard anything back.

This, of course, not being the first document I uncovered. To show Mel’s dicepsion not only with his own daughters. But with several banking institutions and the state and federal government. This would not be the last document either.

Over many years I’ve made phone calls not only to attorneys. But to County, state, and federal officials. All of which have had one reason or another not to investigate. Well I’m telling you now. I will not stop posting documents for you to view. Until you start to investigate now. I hope I finally have someone’s attention. My mom and little sister deserve it!!!!!

Real Estate?

feedback from any experts; real estate agents, lawyers, etc. 👌 !!!!!!

Family History: Truth or Secrets?

Now I’m not going to even pretend to understand anything that I’ve been looking at. I’ve been trying to understand it for weeks. I’ve asked about parts of it. Since I was a teenager. Back then I was told I was to young and wouldn’t understand.

Well, at age 49. I’m a empty nester with my husband, Mark. Together we have raised 4 healthy children. Now young adults at 27,24,23 and 21. We are now (the dreaded) in-law’s and soon to be (the dreaded) in-law’s. [I’m not getting off subject. But, even those of us that LOVE our in-law’s. Sometimes its our own parents that drive us nuts.] But we are also MomMom and PopPop twice over. Just a quick hint to all those young “parents” out there who think they know everything and don’t have to listen to anything their parents might be trying to say. Unfortunately kids are…

View original post 411 more words

Real Estate?

Now I’m not going to even pretend to understand anything that I’ve been looking at. I’ve been trying to understand it for weeks. I’ve asked about parts of it. Since I was a teenager. Back then I was told I was to young and wouldn’t understand.

Well, at age 49. I’m a empty nester with my husband, Mark. Together we have raised 4 healthy children. Now young adults at 27,24,23 and 21. We are now (the dreaded) in-law’s and soon to be (the dreaded) in-law’s. [I’m not getting off subject. But, even those of us that LOVE our in-law’s. Sometimes its our own parents that drive us nuts.] But we are also MomMom and PopPop twice over. Just a quick hint to all those young “parents” out there who think they know everything and don’t have to listen to anything their parents might be trying to say. Unfortunately kids are not born with any instruction manuals or directions in hand from G-D. So your left to learn as you go like the rest of us. And the only thing MORE rewarding than being called Mom or Dad. Being called MomMom or PopPop. Back on track!!!!

Just wondering outloud if any of this life experience has given anyone the thought of maybe. Finally sitting down and explaining things to me that I seemed to be to young for before. But probably not. Because you see. Everyone else has moved on. Nobody wants to go back. And if I bring anything up I’m just told I’m stuck in the past. Maybe so. But thats because nobody would address them with me. I kept waiting for “my turn”. And when it seemed to finally come. I was told I had to move on. So, since I have largely felt ignored all my life. I’m reaching out to internet land for answers.

We are going to start with the purchase of the Mink Hollow Dr. property in 1977. Since I’m not a real estate agent or a lawyer. I’m just going to show you the documents. The mortgage between Mom, Mel and Vermont Federal Savings and Loan, the Deed, and the Special Power Attorney

Continue reading “Real Estate?”

My Promise!!!!

I have FINALLY figured out just how I want to do this. I’m not going to promise that I’m always going to succeed at it. But I’m going to try my hardest!!!! Just what is it? Keeping my strongest emotions out of this. And only put out there things that can be proven right or wrong. I’m going to be honest and say. Its going to be very hard. And I’m probably, no, most definitely, going to have to be reminded of this. I only ask that its done in a somewhat gentle manner. As I can be somewhat sensitive at times too. And thank you for your continued patience as I gather my nerves and start to open my flood gates. Hopefully those same nerves won’t cause me to close my “gates” once again. I’ve been doing that since I was a teen to long. Its time they stayed open.

Overcoming my fear!!!!

So the real reason I post something and won’t for a very long time. Its pure FEAR!!!! Fear that I’m going to be called a lier. Because I have. By Mel and other close family members. Even though I have documents to back up memories. Most often, if I’m not being called a lier. I’m being told there are many things I don’t understand. And I’ve been saying for many years. Then explain it to me. And no one ever has. So I live in fear of saying something and being told I’m lieing.

Now that you know my truth. Hopefully it will help you make up your own mind. As I get the courage to post documents, facts, my memories and more.

I wanted to add something before I got comments regarding future posts.

I have talked to County, state, and Federal authorities over the last 30+ years. I have sent letters and documents. And two things end up happening. Either nothing at all, or, one of the first things they do is to talk to Mel.

So I am left with no choice but to expose all of the written legal documents, memories, and more. That I have. Its the only way I know how to get anyone to finally listen to, take me seriously, know that I am not lieing. And REALLY understand the real reason behind why I’m doing this. I’ll give a hint: It has nothing to do with money!!!!!

Trying to START at all…

I’m not all sure what you all see on my website as far as. Pages, blogs and so on. It seems like everytime I get on here to write about something. I end up trying to figure how to edit something and what things mean. Before I know it. My entire day has gone by and I’ve gotten nothing done. And now I have to figure out what to do for dinner and start making the house look like I’ve done something. Before my husband gets home from work.

My Dyslexia and ADD just don’t allow me to visualize a website like I should. No matter how hard I try to force my brain to do it. And believe me, I have been trying to force it to learn this for over 20 years.

So I’m going to stop trying to figure that out. Because right now, I really have to focus on my mental health. So I’m advocating for myself right now. And telling anyone out there. That, in time, hopefully soon, I will start posting again. But, I’m not going to be focusing on all the fancy stuff. Just my story and the facts. So hopefully you’ll be back. It’ll be worth the wait. I promise!!!!!

My Open Letter

My absence started with some MAJOR technical difficulties. I have since gotten those resolved for the time being. (I think) Unfortunately, it quickly evolved into what has been going on in every household. Across the country and the world. But over the resent few days I finally came back to what I was trying to accomplish with these posts.

Like I’ve said before. I’m simply telling MY truth. I have also made clear that any misinformation that I might post. I apologize for, and if brought to my attention. I will apologize for and correct it. But I have also realized that. Everyone else has gotten there truth out. I have nothing to hide. So I have to continue telling and showing MY truth!!! Because that’s all I have.

An Early Timeline?

I’m starting first with an apology. Some of the information posted about my maternal grandparents was not accurate.

Charles and Helene Gurdin combined had 4 children, making total for Gurdin family 6. A son was brought into the marriage. And they had 2 boys and 1 girl. In 1966 Charles Gurdin past away.

On to the timeline now.

•my Mom 12yr. Mel 16yr. meet

•my Mom 13yr. Mel 18yr. pregnant first time

•8-6-62 Mom 14yr. Mel 19yr. Gives birth to son/adopted

•my Mom 15yr. Mel 20yr. pregnant second time

•12-22-64 Mom 16yr. Mel 21yr. gives birth to a daughter

•1966 Mom 18yr. Mel 23yr. Mom’s father died-Charles Gurdin (who she was very close with)

•After that big life events continue to happen. More babies are born, Mel becomes a Dr.

•1977 Mom and Mel bought the “little brown house on 6685 Mink Hollow Rd. in Highland”

•I am not a lawyer, nor am I a lender at a bank, or a real estate broker. So instead of trying to explain the documents. I’ll just show the documents.

Maryland Department of Assessments and Taxation of Howard County

•Maryland Department of Assessments and Taxation of Howard County: Real Property Data Search

•Original Deed of 6685 Mink Hollow Rd. Highland, Maryland 20777 property. signed: October 21,1977 Between Robert Higginbotham, Melvin S. Stern, and Gail N. Stern(my mom).

•Original Mortgage of Highland, MD Property. Signed by Mel and Gail Stern,who was acting under Limited Power of Attorney guidelines now (Mel was her Limited P.O.A) and Vermont Federal Savings and Loan Association on October 14,1977.

•Original Documentation of Special Power of Attorney. Signed on October 14,1977 by Gail N. Stern.

I’ll just ask one question? Do married couples tend to request “Special/Limited Power of Attorney” documents when buying property/real estate?

And to think. There is not only a lot more real estate to go. But taxes, stocks, bonds, trust records and more.

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