The Beginning of the End?

On January 1, 1983. Montgomery County police would find my mother deceased in her apartment in Olney, Maryland. Later the coroner would rule her death “natural causes”. As I sit here today. I think, really? These things just don’t add up to me.

A basically healthy 36y.o. woman, dead by natural causes.  Her estranged husband, a Dr., seems to get investigation wrapped up rather quick.

Mel was the last one to see our mom alive. It was New Year’s and mom had no drugs or alcohol in her system, no suicide.

Let’s back up about 16-18 months before.

My older sister comes home from school and hears our mom crying. Our mom tells Sandi, she had recently found out she was pregnant with twins. But when mom told Mel he had said “their marriage wasn’t strong enough” and she had to get an abortion. Mel had made the appointment and mom had gone that morning, alone. Mel had to work. (Mom had taken a sick day from work). By the time me and my little sister, Jeni, got home from school Mel was on his way to his “meeting”. By then, even I knew what that meant. It was Mel’s weekly “date”. Mel would have one, 1-2 nights a week. Mel had them for years, every place we lived, with many different women. But my mom stayed with Mel. Mel had not been loyal to mom since they met and Mel was in h.s. and Mom still in m.s. But mom had something Mel didn’t. Money. And I truly believe Mel exploited mom for it. I mean why else would a 16y.o. be interested in a 12y.o.

But mom did always trust that Mel would take care of her. After all, mom had made sure Mel’s dream of becoming a Dr. became a reality. Sure his parents helped A LOT financially as well. But Mom marketed Mel where ever we lived. And Mom never spoke badly of Mel, making Mel out to look like a saint.

With the amount of times the Howard County Police had been called to the house for domestic disturbances. I don’t understand how a court could grant Mel custody of 3 kids. Except for the fact that he is a Dr. Anyway, Mel took full advantage of this. Brainwashing us to the fullest. Asked us if we wanted “I survived visitation” t-shirts made. And would help us count the visitations.

Well, that summer of 1982 was “the beginning of the end” not only for my mom. But also for my childhood. It was then that my mom moved to Olney, Maryland and the court appointed visitations started. Mel would audio tape us talking to our mom. In case it got heated and Mel could use it in court against Mom. Mel flew us a cross the country to our grandparents in California. But first Mel made us memorize new identities. Told us to use these identities until we where with our grandparents. And Mel made all travel arrangements for us under those new identities. Mel told us he was protecting us from Mom.

As a parent myself, and under the law. I’m pretty sure it read the same in 1982 as it does now. That sounds like kidnapping.

Weeks later Mel had my older sister, Sandi, fly back to Maryland. So Sandi could testify against our mom on Mel’s behalf.

In the late summer, early fall of 1982 my mom wanted to take my little sister and I for a weekend trip to New York to see her mom. But Mel had brainwashed us well. I wouldn’t go without Sandi. So with a list of cousin’s, in case we needed them. Off we went.

I remember enjoying any time spent with my mom. I’m also a plea’sr by nature. So at the same time I’m really having a lot of fun with my mom. And seeing how happy she is. I’m also trying to please Mel and make him proud. So when Sandi and our mom got into a huge fight. All 3 of us girls went to a cousin’s. Sandi called Mel, Mel called his lawyer, & the lawyer called the judge. Mel called us back and told us. If we really didn’t want to go back that was fine. But if that was our choice, the judge would be throwing Mel in jail. We went back and finished our visit. But those are the kind of mental abuse games Mel played on us.

It’s now 6 weeks before our mom’s death. Mom is on the phone talking with a friend who notices long pauses in mom’s sentences. A couple of more phone talks and she is noticing slurring and the pauses more frequently. She finally asks our mom about it. And is told that Mel hasn’t been providing enough $ to cover her seizure meds. So mom is rationing it. Her friend is furious. Not at our mom. But at Mel. After all, Mel’s a Dr. Mel knows how important that medication is to mom. Mom’s been on it forever. But no one knows how long mom has been “self rationing”. Mel writes her a script & mom fills it. It’s assumed that she resumes her usual dose.

What really bothers me. Is this. I’m no Dr. But I know enough to know that once you’ve messed with seizure medication like that. One REALLY has to go through some tests. At the very least have a brain scan BEFORE changing a dose of a medication. When her friend spoke with me years later. She said that she was not only pretty certain mom had probably not done any testing. But mom had probably not even notified her actual Dr. yet. Mel’s script had provided mom with enough to get through the New Year. Her friend had a feeling Mom wouldn’t contact the Dr. until January.

New Years Eve The Allison’s always had a party. We all went as a family and had a great time. We brought in 1983 and mom seemed very hopeful about the year. Mom and Mel brought us home and put us to sleep. And then Mel left Sandi in charge so Mel could take our mom home.

Mel said when he left mom was laying on the couch. Her friend said our Mom was really excited and hopeful about a marriage therapy appointment Mom and Mel were scheduled for on Monday, January 2, 1983.

But on Sunday, January 1, 1983 a friend of the families would have to tell me, and then Jeni that our mom had died. Mel came in the house right after we where told.

Sandi, Cheri, & Jeni

So to break it down and make it simple. My questions are as follows:

•how does a healthy 36y.o. woman die of natural causes

•corrinor reported seeing granmal seizure activity. Yet our mom was on medication

•abortion 16-18 months prior to death

•how do the courts grant Mel guardian with domestic disturbs on file.

•how does Mel get away with kidnapping

•how can a Dr. be adhering to Ethical Laws when treating family members, writing family members scripts

Published by sunshinesadvocate

Advocator against childhood traumas, CPTSD, domestic violence, & physical, mental, & sexual abuse. Site dedicated to my Mom: Gail Nadel; RIP & my little sister Jeni. Who I miss EVERYDAY and wish Mel, our father, would not insist on coming between us.

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